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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26442325">Why Do We Even Have That Kid?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BumblingBat/pseuds/BumblingBat'>BumblingBat</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Keep Your Braincells Firmly in Your Brain [9]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff, Gen, Grumpy Jesse, Humor, M/M, dumbasses being dumbasses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 05:20:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>579</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26442325</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BumblingBat/pseuds/BumblingBat</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There is gloop. There is stink. It might be glowing? And Kix and Rex are a little busy, so Jesse gets to handle it. There had better be alcohol in it for him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>CT-5597 | Jesse &amp; Ahsoka Tano, CT-5597 | Jesse/CT-6116 | Kix</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Keep Your Braincells Firmly in Your Brain [9]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1728457</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>104</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Why Do We Even Have That Kid?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/TexWash/gifts">TexWash</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jesse decided he would start panicking as soon as he had a free moment. But for now? He needed to go deal with a problem that shouldn’t even be his problem. It was only his problem because the Captain was stuck in the medbay with Kix doing surgery on his leg. He would feel more sympathy the next time Kix started complaining about their superior officers. No, seriously. Just a little bit of sympathy. Ahsoka was the cause of today’s headache. Again.</p>
<p>As Jesse walked towards her, he started wishing for the filters in his helmet. He was starting to suspect the sort of situation she had gotten herself into planetside. The smell alone was enough to stop a rancor. What the hell.</p>
<p>“Ahsoka. What did you do.” Jesse tried so hard to not inhale as he demanded answers. But the smell stuck to his tongue and there was no avoiding it. Ahsoka came into view and suddenly everything made sense. “I have so many questions.”</p>
<p>“I can explain?” Ahsoka stood in dripping, gloopy, stinky glory in the middle of the hallway. He was pretty sure it was also bubbling and glowing, but that was irrelevant to the janitorial nightmare that was being created.</p>
<p>“Are you asking or telling?” Jesse gave up. He couldn’t take it. His nose needed to go. So he plugged his nose and told himself he’d deal with the embarrassment of the next noise to come out of his mouth. “Because no matter what, you’re cleaning this up.”</p>
<p>Yeah, that was a voice that was only acceptable in this situation and he would never tell anyone he had made those noises.</p>
<p>“Well, there was this tree, and Fives —” “Ok, I know exactly what happened. Was there a blaster involved?” Jesse was so done with this <em>osik</em>. No more. Nope, nope, nope.</p>
<p>“Yep.” She popped the ‘p’ as she rocked back on her heels.</p>
<p>“Great. Awesome. Fantastic. Of course the captain just had to dislocate his knee cap right as you came back. I might strangle him. Alright. Here’s the plan: you are going to straight to the ‘fresher in the next hall. I will clear it out, because you probably shouldn’t be spreading your goop mess to everyone else. You will wash off yourself and your clothes with water, and then we will incinerate your clothes.”</p>
<p>“Sounds like a plan.” Ahsoka started to nod in agreement, but stopped as Jesse made a noise and covered his head to avoid flying gloop. “Right. I’ll just… follow you to the ‘fresher.”</p>
<p>After getting Ahsoka handled, Jesse went back to the medbay. He saw Kix cleaning up after Rex’s surgery, and stomped over to him to stick a finger in his face.</p>
<p>“I am NEVER dealing with that <em>di’kutla</em> <em>mir’osik</em> EVER again. I am not meant for any sort of responsibility over stinky goopy teenagers. We had to BURN her clothes. And it was all Fives’ fault!”</p>
<p>That got Rex’s attention from his place on the bed. He promptly flopped back and pretended to take a nap.</p>
<p>“<em>Jess’ika</em>?”</p>
<p>“The next thing out of your mouth had better be ‘please have my entire stash of moonshine as thanks for handling that’ or I am never talking to you again.” </p>
<p>That wasn’t it, but a hug from Kix came in a very close second. Jesse wrapped his arms around Kix’s shoulders and dropped his head into his neck. “I guess this works too. Why do we even have that kid?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TexWash prompted this one: “The 501st has 1 braincell for its Officers. When Kix isn't using it, it usually goes to Rex. The few times it hits up Jesse is when both are either asleep or incapacitated in some way.”</p>
<p>Hope this scratches that itch, my dude.</p>
<p>Jesse’s characterization here is lightly inspired by Project0506’s Soft Wars Jesse (as in, I already saw Jesse like that and they just reinforced it).</p></blockquote></div></div>
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